I have a love/hate relationship
with our kitchen cabinets. I know that sounds silly. Why am I writing (or even
complaining, kind of, about kitchen cabinets)? Here is why. Half of our
cabinets have a solid door, while the other half has glass doors. When we first
moved in I didn’t think much about that. I put whatever made sense into each
cabinet. After having enough people over I began to become self-conscious of
people seeing our plastic cups and plates mixed with ceramic bowls and glasses. I took an afternoon and reorganized these
cabinets. Nice plates and dishes only in the glass cabinets and all the other
random stuff in the solid cabinets, tucked away for no one to see. I loved the
transformation. I felt less self-conscious when having people over. It seems
silly, but it put a little extra skip into my step to walk into the kitchen and
it was one less mess in my day that I didn’t have to look at. Everything had a place.
While emptying the dishwasher one
day and putting dishes in their respective places I had the thought of how
similar my social media life is like these cabinets. I want only the good stuff
to show and to throw all the other junk behind closed, solid doors. It made me
uncomfortable at first. It didn’t seem right. I don’t want to present my life
like I always have it together, as if all things in my life have a rightful
place. But the more I wrestled with this and unpacked this idea I became more
comfortable with it. I realized people kind of need to earn the right to see
behind my solid doors or I want to be the one to decide when to open up those
doors. There are also certain things
that don’t need to be opened up to the public, ever. Especially as my children
get older, I want to protect them more as they become more human and more complex.
It is becoming less and less my place to open their closed doors to the
world.
I have a dear friend who invites
herself and her family over. I love it. Seriously. I absolutely love it. Sam and I want nothing
more than to have people in our lives that just stop by unannounced or invite
themselves over. They can see our home
in the midst of spring break when it looks like a tornado has ripped through
our home and property. I watched as one friend was chopping vegetables,
barefoot in our kitchen, brush a crumb off her foot against her leg. My floors
were unswept. While there was some embarrassment that crept up while I watched
this, she didn’t say a thing and I didn’t apologize. Deep down I wanted to and
I think there is a part of me that will always want to. These women have earned
the right to see behind my solid doors, literally and figuratively. It didn’t start this way. I’m positive I made
sure the house was sparkling from top to bottom the first who knows how many
times they came over. But as our relationships have grown and I’ve slowly
revealed myself to them I have felt safe and loved. And they have begun to open
their doors to me as well.
I see social media differently now.
While I still get jealous of certain instagram feeds and find myself wanting
what they have, I am quick to remind myself that their beautiful photos are
just their glass cabinets. They have solid cabinets as well. They are choosing
not to show those and/or I haven’t earned the right to see behind those doors.
I also remind myself that I have a tribe of people that do let me see into
their real lives and I can enter into their homes and lives, sticky counters, unswept floors and all.
Love this. Very well written and all very true. It is easy to hide through Social Media. Thanks for sharing your thoughts for today. :)
ReplyDeleteLove. Thanks for sharing! I decided from the start that my blog and social media would be about my unfiltered, real and messy life. But I absolutely love to share the occasional photo of my cleaned-up house. I'm pretty sure I have one on Instagram. Yep. One.
ReplyDeleteI love your glass cabinet analogy. I'm so fortunate to have a tribe of women who have seen behind my solid cabinets. We don't judge and love each other all the more for our messes.
ReplyDeleteThat discernment (what doors to leave open in an online world) is wise and one I am learning.
ReplyDelete